Focus on the Situation Moment by Moment
See the interaction or event for what it is, not what you think it will be. There are nuances that can be picked up about how a person feels if you take the time to notice.
If it’s an event, there are moments to be relished that will quickly pass you by if you’re tightly focused on the end goal.
As cliche as it is, live in the present. That will get you far in letting go of expectations.
Consider the Opposite Outcome
This is a practice I do, though I want to be clear that this is different than dwelling.
If you’re extremely attached to a specific outcome happening, it might be worth considering how you would feel or react if the complete opposite happened. I am all for positive thinking — sometimes we just need a gentle reminder that we’re not in control of everything.
Don’t stay too long in the negative, though. Hope for your ideal outcome but recognize that things could go in another direction.
“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.” — Fyodor Dostoevsky
Going into an important conversation can be stressful. But leaving the conversation thinking you weren’t understood or your feelings were attacked is worse.
I am plagued with this exact scenario except that I am the one often times missing people’s expectations. I am not the kind of person that shows great excitement naturally. I have to be really into something for me to show a hint of ecstatics.
That doesn’t mean I’m not happy; it’s that my expressions just don’t show my reaction. Often times, people feel like I don’t care about their gift, the situation, the promotion, etc. Yes, this did play out to the extent that I received a promotion and my boss looked at me and was like, “Are you not happy?”
Sometimes people feel a certain way but don’t express it in the same manner that we are used to. That’s why communication is key.
Ask questions until you completely understand what is going on how the person feels. You’d be surprised how much communication can alleviate your assumptions and misunderstanding.
Communication on your end is essential as well.
If you’re beating around the bush, aren’t firm on how you feel, or don’t express what you are needing, then how can you expect someone to react in the way you want?
I’ve found that transitioning from “Well, I just think that..” to “I feel this way..” has been a game-changer. No longer is the other person trying to decipher what I am trying to say; It’s clear because I made it clear.